I really only have one ethnic group, but I feel like I am multiracial. I am Chicana(Mexican mestiza-spanish and indigenous)but i'm very light compared to a lot of Mexicans you see here. I have an Italian great grandfather but I don't consider myself to be Italian at all. Everyone else in my family is Mexican, but my dad's father was a Mexican who hadn't mixed with the indigenous people so he was very light like a Spaniard. My dad's mother was a very dark and indigenous looking woman. I always get mad when others call me white because I cannot relate to that at all. To me being Mexican is not white at all, because white people discriminate against you. But now I feel like I must admit that my great grandfather and grandfather were white, or else I'm lying to myself. I feel like I must be multiracial because if you look at my family the skin colors range from light to dark, and so do the eye colors. This is common in mestizo families, because being mestizo itself is being multiracial. Over here other Mexicans can usually tell that I am too, but sometimes they ask if I'm mixed with anything else. I am proud of my heritage and it offends me when people think i'm half white. Other times I've been asked if I was Mexican, Russian, or Assyrian. When I tell people that I had an Italian great grandfather, they tell me that I look Italian, even though my great grandfather was a northern Italian with light skin, hair, and eyes. Sometimes white people assume that I am white too, and I've been told racist comments to my face because people don't know who they're talking to. Other times I've also experienced racism from people who knew I was Mexican and didn't see me as anything else. To them I was just a dumb Mexican. Some people have told me that I'm too pretty to be Mexican, which hurts me. When I've gone out of the U.S. I've been told that I looked Arab, northern Indian, Eastern European, Muslim. How can I keep a clear identity after that??? I guess looking like I do has given me a unique perspective, in that I can see the more concealed racism in our society. This is the kind of thing you get when a white girl turns to you and says, "I'm not racist but don't you think there are too many blacks and mexicans in this school?" and you wonder what to say because she doesn't know she's talking about you.

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