Hello everybody, I am 36 years old and for the most part have called the DC area my home. Although my family is "classified" as Black, our appearance says something different. Growing up in a military family, and having spent 10 years in the Army, I was exposed to many cultures and peoples. Suprisingly, the US is the only place where my appearance seems to matter. My hazel eyes and waivy hair have brought as much curiosity, and envy as it has disdain. I have Irish, German and Scottish in my background as well. My five brothers and sisters have all gone through the same problems of trying to fit in, in both black and white worlds. As with most of you, I too went through a "Black Militant" stage. Inevitably, my appearance and speech would set someone off and the accusations of being a "wanna be" or "White Boy" would start flying. The same would happen in the white community which would start off with the old "Excuse me, but what are you?", followed by the person trying to comparing their forearm to mine and announcing "We are the same shade!" I've even had people TELL me I can't possibly be Black, and that I am either Italian, Spanish or Arabic, but not Black. Almost everyday, I feel as if I have to "validate" myself with the Black community and feel a bit parinoid with the white community. Am I being accepted because they see me for who I am or because they think I am white? I am at the point where I know longer care, and am more than happy to recognize my multi-racial background. Maybe now I can fit in and quit wandering through life.
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Well, much has happened since I posted my story on the site last year. I graduated from law school and am now a licensed attorney. I made several new friends from the myshoes site, had great discussions with some, and even butted heads with others who did not agree with our take of things. But the best thing that happened to me is that I met my future wife, Sandy Bishop via Myshoes. Come September 16, 2000, we will finally get started on the life journey we have both so long been waiting.

It was not what I had joined the group for. Frankly I never gave much thought to meeting someone over the internet. However, I have never been happier to have found such a wonderful woman whose internal strength and character exemplifies the best that life has to offer. We are able to lead a very normal life because our color does not come into the relationship as an issue. In some ways we are the exact opposite. But in other ways we seem as if we are attached at the hip!

We realized shortly after meeting that things felt so right for us that we knew it was our destiny to be together. At no time have we had to compromise on our beliefs to make this relationship work. It has worked, because as I said, it is our desitiny. It has also worked because we have that deep understanding of growing up on the fringes of the black and white races. Having experienced rejection from both blacks and whites based on our physical appearance and nothing more. At the same time, we have also been privy to the social benefits and prvilidges of looking the way we do. As such, Sandy and I are going to put this "gift" (for lack of a better word), to use for the benefit of others.

Sandy and I both realize that our children will undoubtedly share our physical characteristics, and frankly we are happy. However, we are going to raise our children to see character and not color. We will be there for them when they run into the wall of ignorance and hate. The pains Sandy and I suffered as children and young adults will be used to teach them to be strong individuals. Strong individuals who will never let anyone place shame on them for looking the way God intended them to look.

With the new millenium comes a new challenge. A challenge for mankind to realize that we do not fall into several races, each with it's own social/political/economic agenda. Instead we are blending back into the only race that matters...the human race.

Updated story and the wedding.

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