Jessica Harrison
Hello to everyone. I have read alot of the personal stories and most of them touched something in me. I am a little hesitant to join this group and I guess I'm so used to wondering what people really think that I think that about people in this group. It's just a lifetime of learning. First of all I am half Japanese and half Caucasion and I too, "look all white". I was adopted as a baby in Japan by White parents that were in the military. I have had and do have a wonderful life. I don't believe that I've ever really felt the prejudices that some other people have but for me it's just the little everyday things that always remind me that I'm different.Mine is more of an internal thing. Please don't think that I am being petty...because sometimes it's the little things that make a person feel a little isolated or alone. For example...I really can't find makeup that matches my color. The expensive places say they could mix something up just for me. My one oriental friend, who is married to a white guy asked me if I was trying to hide my heritage because I get perms in my hair. I was accused of lying about my racial mixture in 7th grade by the teacher and principle. (the school was to receive money for the Native Americans and Orientals there, even if you were only 1/4). I raised my hand to help out and got in trouble and they called my mother and she defended me. They said well, she doesn't look it. That expression bothers me the most. Sometimes when I tell people my racial heritage they still say, "Yeah but you're really White," I guess they didn't hear me. I live in the South and found out that if I say I'm biracial people looked shocked. Apparently biracial means part black where we live. I work in a job where I meet alot of people and it's every other day that someone asks "What are you?" Don't you get tired of that. Depending on my mood I might just say that I'm a Leo, I'm a nurse,or I'm a mother. I truely feely that I am half of each race and I'm okay about not necessarily belonging to either. It seems to be that other people feel more comfortable if you chose sides. There is a little freedom in that, that enable you to concentrate more on yourself as an individual. They used to call me Eurasian when I was a child and then they changed it to Amerasian. I remember who can just change the name of what I am. I learned early on that no one could change me unless I wanted to be. I'm called olive complected and I remember finding the olive green crayon when I was about 6 or 7 and being horrified. There are men I've met that think that I must have great sexual abilities because of being part oriental. Recently an aunt of mine died and I didn't go to the funeral and someone at work asked me why and I just said that she was a distant aunt. Actually she was my only aunt on my dad's side. It has probably never occured to people that I was never truely accepted by my parent's families. But I know. Also being adopted is another whole story. I am proud of the person I've become. I'm happy,I have very good friends, and I have my own wonderful family. I am very proud and happy to be Amerasian. It does make me unique where I live. I have two young daughters and one looks like me, brown hair and brown eyes and the other is blue eyed and very pale skin. The other day I told my 6 year old after she met a little Japanese boy at school that needed help with his English that she was part Japanese and she laughed. I realized that this is a gift I have given to her. It makes her (although she looks white too) look just a little bit different than anyone else and this is special and something to be cherished. Thank you all for listening. I've never really had anyone to tell this too.