I have been reading everyone's stories and found that I could really identify with a lot of you. Even though both my parents are African-American, I am the only one out of four (I have 3 younger siblings) who looks like I do. I am a light tan with a longstraight nose and dark reddish-brown down my back that corkscrews when it gets wet. I have always lived in predominately Black neighborhoods and attended predominately Black schools. In elementary school, I was paler than I am now, and my hair was brighter. It was really long then too, and I would get teased a lot by the other students. I used to go home crying almost everyday because I was getting called "white vinegar" and "white girl". Also, everyday, someone would ask me if I was white or black. For the most part though, I was accepted. I was just a light-skinned girl with that "good" hair (which I always thought was a crazy term. What's "good" hair anyway, you know?)  A lot of girls were jealous. "You think you're all that..." and while walking down the street girls would be like, "You know it's a weave" and shoot mean looks my way.

My paternal grandmother is Black, Cherokee, and Scottish-Irish. Her father was 1/4 White, 1/4 Black and 1/2 Cherokee. Her mother was 1/2 White and 1/2 Black. When she was little she had golden brown hair and as she got older, it turned dark auburn. She is very fair-skinned. I asked her, how was that for her--growing up in North Carolina--with her family (she was one of 12) looking as they did. She just says that the "White people thought her family thought they were White, and the Black people thought that too." She moved to DC in her teens, and once, a White taxi driver didn't want to let her out of his cab. She said a lot of times it was hard. She always dated Black men and one was mad at her because she wouldn't "pass". He told her to think of all the opportunities she would be missing out on, but she wouldn't. She eventually married a Black man, my grandfather--who was dark brown-skinned, and other Black women would say ignorant things to her like, "You just married him so he can be your slave." When I was little, I would ask her if she was White or Black and she would always say, "I'm Black."

As for me, I am always being mistaken for Latina, North African, or Middle Eastern. Once someone said Native American. The thing that always got me were the perfect strangers who'd walk up to me and say, "Please don't be offended.." or "If you don't mind..." followed with "What are you/your parents?" or "Where are you/your parents from?" I am always getting spoken to in another language. I went to a predominately White college. Once, it was winter and I had all my gear on and from the back you could only see my hair--which was long and straight at the time. Two White students were talking behind me about how "Their money shouldn't go towards scholarships for THEM." I turned around and they turned beet red.One of my friends is biracial and once told me, "You look more mixed than I do!" It has caused problems with my younger sister, who has cinnamon skin, a broader nose, fuller lips and differently textured hair. She once asked me how could I was the one who turned out "Caucasian". None of my siblings are my complexion or have the features or hair that I do. People often do not know my sister is mine until we say it.

Sorry for the long story, but I just want you all to know that there will always be ignorant people out there. Poet Audre Lourde once said, "If I didn't define myself, for myself, I would be crunched up into other people's fantasies and eaten alive."

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