Adult
Letters
January through March, 1999
My Shoes is a forum where we can meet other multiracial individuals with a white appearance and express our thoughts and feelings.
Adult
Letters
January through March, 1999
My Shoes is a forum where we can meet other multiracial individuals with a white appearance and express our thoughts and feelings.
This page allows members and non-members to ask questions or comment on anything they wish related to the mission of the support group. Help the support group grow by talking to group members, by contributing to discussion topics, by sending your personal story, and by posting announcements on the bulletin board. Join us!
To send your questions or comments press 
Letters:.
Name: Juanita Brooks, jbrooks@myshoes.com
Subject: Email Addresses for Vickie Jackson and Tara Paulk
Date: 3/29/99
Vickie and Tara, please send me your correct email address by selecting my email address above and sending a message to me. The one you submitted with your personal story is incomplete. Thanks.
Name: Not given, email address not given
Subject: deanna dwyer's dilemna
Date: 3/28/99
It is sad that this child will be born into a paternal/maternal family where the only thing they are concerned with is the child's race. I have tried ( not that I want to be racist )to understand how can people " toss" an innocent child out of their lives that way. That child has never did anything to them. Deanna, in order for the families to pull together, they must be willing to pull together, no one can force them to. Seemingly, your daughter is not bad off.......she has a loving grandmother-to-be. My mother always told me , possibly hard for your daughter to understand, that the only people that you should worry about are you, your daughter and your future grandchild. So both families claim that your grandchild will be marked for life--yeah right. If any body who that child will be marked by is them. ( and that is another thing , my mom also said that the person you criticize so badly are the same one the baby come out taking their characteristics. ) Do they really think that only bi-racial children suffer ? I'm Black( though with all of my very close Black /White/ asian blooodlines, sometimes I call myself multiracial ) I have suffered because people did not understand me or my heritage. Society is the problem, not who they are that make them suffer
Name: Amylee, csc@rt66.com
Subject: Membership in My Shoes
Date: 3/23/99
Is this group for only black/white bi-racial people? I am half Chinese-American, but look mostly white (reddish hair, freckles). Your site caught my eye, but I havn't seen too many Asian respondants. Perhaps I need to further investigate. Is this group mostly an internet presence or is it also active in other realms. Thanks for indulging my curiosity.
(Moderator's Note: The My Shoes Support Group has a presence only on the internet. Biracial individuals with a white appearance of all racial heritages are welcome to become members.)
Name: Alissa R. King, alissarking@hotmail.com
Subject: Response to Debbie Thomas's
Post
Date: 3/22/99
My whole opinion on interracial marriages and/or relationships is: I would not exist if an African American man hadn't thought a certain Caucasian woman was attractive enough to sleep with. Forgive me if that seems harsh - I only say it that way because I am not the product of a loving marriage, which is fine because either way I'm here and either way I have a wonderful famly - (refer to my personal story to understand any seemingly negative undertones; they're not meant to be). Anyway, I think interracial marriages are phenomenal and an integral step in widening the eyes of those more ignorant than the likes of many of us.
As far as the stability and future of interacial marriages and/or relationships, I'd have to say that ANY marriage has a 50/50 survival percentage, regardless of race. The older one is, the more change he/she has of having a strong marriage. Whenever you combine two people of different backgrounds (different religions, different economic statuses, different upbringings), there's bound to be some collision of values and opinions, but I think that's true of anyone.
I'm not sure you would find any research or substantial evidence to support any claim that interracial marriages and/or relationships are in favor of disintegrating just because of the nature of the relationship. I'm all for mixing and matching.
Name: Juanita Brooks, jbrooks@myshoes.com
Subject: Response to Sarah's Post
Date: 3/22/99
I am very glad to have a mixed heritage. Certainly being biracial with a white appearance has had it's problems, but I wouldn't be who I am without those challenges. And, I like who I am.
Twenty-two years ago my two brothers and I shared with each other the challenges that we had encountered as a result of our biracial heritage. With tears in her eyes my mother said, "Perhaps I should not have married your father." Each of us strongly asserted that we were glad that they married, for if they had not married we would not have been born. That was the night of my father's funeral.
To make any marriage work well, it is important to honestly evaluate how well you work together as a team, if you are GOOD friends, and if you have deep emotional feelings for each other. Of course for any of this to work, you have to communicate well. If any one of these areas is dysfuntional, the marriage may be headed for trouble before it begins. If these areas are strong, the marriage has a better chance of surviving society's quirks.
Best wishes with exploring outside the box that you had previously set up around you.
Name: Deirdre, email address not given
Subject: SAVE THE WORLD
Date: 3/20/99
Hi, my name is Deirdre and I am Irish. Well....my heritage is of Ireland. I don't think I ever realized how lucky I am to have always accepted myself after reading so many personal stories on these web pages. I always liked who I was, who I am today, and fortunately never had any conflicts about who I was on the outside or within. I've always liked myself. I love the way I look on the outside, and I love the way I am within. And I love all people of different races, ethnic backgrounds, religions, appearances, ect. I just wish people would take a long break from themselves for a few yrs. per person and come to terms with things that really need to be worked on. Such as doing either paid or volunteer work for the rain forests and endangered species of both animals and flowers. And also cleaning up our oceans, the world's oceans. I believe you all have the power to crack the damn mirrors against the walls and put all those self-help books in the attic some place, where you can look back someday and laugh your damn heads off. Just pack your suitcases and do your part in the world and go help something that is really in need of help. Help your spirits and fly away to your dream rain forest where life thrives, and needs your help to keep on thriving. Plant a tree, put a smile on a monkey's face, clean the water, so a fish grows healthy skin (or scales), and watch your true flowers grow.
Name: Deana DeCaro, DDeCaro@AUSD.K12.CA.US
Subject: My Biracial Children
Date: 3/19/99
I am a 28 year old single mother of two beautiful bi-racial boys. My eight year old, Matthew, is Mexican and Italian, and my three month old, Darius, is Black and Italian. We live in Los Angeles, a very multi-cultural city, so usually the differences in my children and I are never an issue. However I find that in my personal life there are issues. First of all, both my children's fathers are deadbeat dads, which I take resposibility for using poor judgement. The hardest thing about their father's not being around is trying to raise two small boys into men who are secure, productive, happy in their lives. I worry frequently about making sure both of my children are exposed to their cultural backgrounds, socially, and at home. I actually think it is harder on my older son, simply because the majority of my friends, and family are black. He has even voiced to me that he wishes he could be black like his brother so he wouldn't be different. However, my parents completely deny Darius as part of thier family because he is black, and absolutely adore Matthew. I wonder hoe they could base their love for their own family on color. I am least fortunate to be surrounded by very loving friends, and accepted into thier families as one of them. I see my children for the color they both are, the color of love, my love. My children are everything I am, and more. I hope I will be able to raise them to know how beautiful they are for their differences, and there is so much they have to offer because of them.
Name: Sarah, email address not given
Subject: "What about the children"
Date: 3/19/99
I am a white woman who has recently started dating a black man. I grew up in a very conservative small town, and while I strongly believe people are all just people, no matter what their race, I know that my background does affect me. I never really even imagined myself in an interracial relationship, although I have friends who are very happy in one. So, it all came as quite a surprise to me when I started feeling this way. I have been through all the arguments against interracial relationships that people have given me. So far the only one that seems to hold any merit at all is ," think about what affect it would have on your children." I didnt' even give that argument too much consideration, until I read the personal stories on your site. It seems that so many people here had a very difficult childhood, and that they were teased more than I would have imagined. The thing that bothers me is that I didn't hear anyone saying, "I'm so glad my parents married each other", Is a biracial ethnicity something you have to "accept" or is anyone out there really glad to have mixed heritage? I'm wondering what you would say to someone considering an interracial marriage? Do any of you who are biracial feel that your parents have hurt you in some way? What advice do you have?
Name: Deanna Dwyer, deanna.dwyer@sw.boeing.com
Subject: Breaking Barriers
Date: 3/18/99
My teen age daughter is 7 1/2 months pregnant and her baby is biracial. I was wondering if someone could offer us some advise on how to reply to remarks that the baby will be "marked" for life. Members of our own family refuse to accept this pregnancy. They are focusing on the biracial issue instead of the teen pregnancy. The boys family is very upset that my daughter is "white", and they seem so prejudice. How do you break the barriers?
Name: Carolyn Hall, chall@english.fsu.edu
Subject: "spotting" other biracial people
Date: 3/12/99
Quite often I've kept a mental note on all the celebrities who I know are mixed: Jennifer Beales, Shemar Moore, Victoria Rowles, Tiger Woods, Lennie Kravitz, Lisa Bonet, Thandie Newton, and Mariah Carey. Then there are the stars who I speculate are mixed, but don't know for sure, Savion Glover, the Mel B. (Spice Girls) and this one particual guys who shows up in almost all of Spike Lee's movies. But I also have this bad habit of looking at others who seem to be "borderline", meaning that within the proper setting, they can "fit in" with the rest of them. I remember when I was in the 8th grade, all of my friends were Black. I was kind of a trouble maker, (as some of us can remember how we behaved in those days), and I was sent to the principals office. I can remember two major things about the referral slip that I was given to take to the office: One was that there was a check box for the race of the child that was being sent to the office, and two, my teacher marked Black. I think it was at that point that I really hated those kinds of boxes where you had to pick your race! And I also resented the fact that my teacher checked a box for me. It wasn't that she checked Black, it's just that she made the choice. Of course the administration was shocked when my White parents showed up (yes I am mixed, but I was also adopted into a white family). My parents have never encouraged or discouraged me to pick sides, but to learn and respect both sides. Okay, my point of all of this is because I find myself looking at not only celebrities, but people I come across in my everyday life. There is this one woman whose daughter goes to the same school as my daughter. It is obvious from looking at the child that she is not fully Black or fully White. The mother appears White looking, but if you look a little bit closer, you can see other features. Now, I've only seen her from a distance, but I still keep thinking to my self, "she's got to mixed with something". Now, I've also noticed that she gives me the same look. Perhaps it's because she's wondering why I am staring at her, but she looks like she's trying to get a good look at me to find out what I am! Of course this is all none of my business, but I can help wonder what she is. I know that after the Civil War, many mixed people tried "passing" for white and were "spotted" by other mixed people and reported to the authorities. I almost feel ashamed that I watched other light-skinned people. I'm not trying to "blow anyones cover", I'm just curious about their racial make up. But I know if the shoe were on the other foot, I wouldn't want some one staring at me, but then again, I always hate when some one comes up to me and says, "what are you." Of course, the people who asked me that were either Black or White. Does anyone else find themselves doing the same thing?
Name: blackie, email address not given
Subject: my views on mixed race
Date: 3/10/99
I am a black American, and I feel that I must add my 2 cents in. I"m against a separate class for biracials because I've seen the results of what a buffer class does--after a few generations blackness is played down. What I'd rather see is an abolition of the term "white" because everyone has color-even an albino. As a matter of fact, many people who have been designated as "white" actually have black ancestry waaaay back (e.g. Mediterraneans, Eastern Europeans, ARABS, etc., etc. As for black Americans, we've been mixed for eons. But remember, the Human race is African-derived-any anthropologist worth his or her salt'll tell you that. Bi-racial? I see no difference between a Bi-racial and a light-skinned brother or sister. Bi-racial to me only means that the Ku Klux Klan will give you a nice satin-upholstered stool to stand on when they lynch you. Me, they'll just drag. Come to think of it I've seen some so-called white supremists with evidences of "coffee in their milk". As for other racial mixtures--there's evidence of Africa there, too.
Name: Leighkaren Daniels,
PR
Labay@worldnet.att.net
Subject: support groups in the Bay Area
Date: 3/10/99
I just moved to SF from NYC and would like to know if anyone knows of a biracial support group that meets in the Bay Area. Sometimes the Web is just not enough!!
Name: Not given, email address not given
Subject: Dealing with the real world
Date: 3/10/99
As I was scrolling up and down through the numerous responses from various individuals, there is a big problem that I'm constantly seeing on here ....Blaming people for their past or present ordeals. Though I read about people having troubles with people of other people from different races, seemingly, the Black race is constantly brought up in many of these letters. I'm not upset because of some of your description of the ones that hurt you were not black but there are others who just say " Well this black woman or man hurt me and that is why I turnred to White people. .............. ". Well let me tell you all of my experiences with negative experience of race 1 ) When I was eight years old , A White man who was sent to fix my parents fondled me ( I guess he thought I was older because of my well developed body, still he should not do that regardless of age ) until my parents caught him in the act . They reported him and threw him out of the house 2) A group of White boys called my grandmother and I the "N" word in Florida. 3 ) As a ten year old, my friend's 14 year old cousin tried to rape me. ( he's Black ) Some people may say " gee whiz .. he's a child and ypu're a child that should not be considered as rape. Why not ? at fourteen years old you should know better. Even as of this day, he still give me the creeps! 4) My Black family Discriminated against me or any of my darker skinned folks because we were not fair skinned ( Like Vanessa Williams in a previous response. 5) My Black boyfriend left me. 6) My mother was discriminated against by an Asian storeowner. So far I had no problems with Latinos, Native Americans, Polynesians etc.. although I'm quite sure that some of them may not accept me for who I'm as well I can tell all about the oodles of experinces I dealt with with racism. Yes, I'm not going to lie and say those expereinces did not anger me because they did. But I notice the representative of people that have/or did a love one of mine wrong. The White man did me wrong so I hate him.............the Black man did me wrong so I hate him...........the Asian storeowner did my mom wrong and I hate him............now what?! Those experinces traumatized me for many years to a point where I thought I was going to turn racist. It was not an easy process for me to get over but I had to knock some sense into my head. I could not Blame my White, Black and Asians friends for my ordeals, I had to Blame the individuals. I also came to the realization that I was not helping my problem by running away from them.......Yes! running away was what I was doing. Everytime someone hurt me I ould not keep running from race to race to hide my pain. What would have happened to me if every race hurted me ? then where do I go. This is enough to run me crazy and it almost claimed my sanity at one point. I had to pray on this talk to people about my feeling and to diversify my mind with seeing people as people ( even if they don't see you that way ) and their actions ( positive or negative ) as their own. For the most part ( with the exception of a trace of problem ), I'm over my problem. I love who I'am and I love the diversity that occupies our world. Currently, I"m a single Black or multiracial woman and someone asked me " What kind of men do I prefer ?" I used to be racially/culturally selective about them". and though I'm still somewhat like that , I'm not as exclusive as I used to be. I like all men who share my similar goals, nice, down to earth and responsible. I do not care if they are Black , White, Asian bi-racial etc... who ever I'm blessed with. Iwant to continue to see people, not skin color/or culture. both has nothing to do with character.
Name: Not given, email address not given
Subject: GRL"s " true to your hertage.................
Date: 3/7/99
Your husband say he want to have children by a Korean woman to produce " pure " Korean children ?! I don't get that . If he wanted to owe his family the duty of having these children , why didn't he marry a Korean or Korean-American woman. The idea sound far-fetched, and on top of that he want to have an affair to grant their wishes. I'am aware that they may want to keep the traditions ongoing but they may as well accept the fact that their " traditional " pool will be ( or maybe have become untradtional by this time ). As I wrote one young member there are probably more mixed people than " pure " people in this world. My mother and I was talikng about the terminology --African-American . Neither one of us claim the classification. Were not ashamed of who we are ( Not by a very long shot ! ) we just have so many heritages ( as with most of us ) in our blood line. Fifteen years ago, I found out that my blood relatives were from India, My great grandmothers on both side are bi-racial, my late grandfather ( who I love to the utmost and the man who also taught me to love my Blackness and my other heritages ) was also part - japanese. I can have children with all of the black men in the world and they can continue to have chidlren with Black people but the fact is, that somewhere they will always carry the genetics of non-BLack people and it shoes when people comment on how some of my family ( including me ) looks, bi-racial , white Black or Asian or Asian Indian. If you and your hubby have children and they continue to have children , I hate to be the one to pass on bad news but as long as they mixed with White they will not be pure Korean and that somewhere on down the line ( if non of your children looks White) eventually,one of those children they have will take the White features. What would happen if they looked like you, how will his parents classify them as ?
Name: Debbie Thomas, mart@integrityonline16.com
Subject: Interracial Marriages
Date: 3/6/99
I am not a Bi-racial person. It is that I am doing an assignment for my English class. i was wondering how people felt about interracial marriages. I mean how would a bi-racial advice someone who wanted to. Like the effects or problems for the couple the childern. Is it true that interracial marriages have a real small chance in surviving?
Name: Sarah, Dave.Simcox@cavix.org
Date: 03/04/99
Subject: Bi-racial Children
I am an 18 year old student who is doing a research paper on the effects of racism on bi-racial children and how is affects them as adults. I am having a hard time finding supporting information. If anyone has comments or stories to share with me, they would be greatly appriciated.
Name: Carol Zwiebach-Sherman, carol@biracialstudy.com
Subject: request from biracial researcher to link to your site
Date: 3/2/99
You may remember me from my masters thesis study. Your feedback on my survey instrument really helped to inform my current dissertation instrument. I am now a fifth year doctoral student at the California School of Professional Psychology in Los Angeles. Similar to my previous study, I am currently conducting a study on the relationship between biracial identification and well-being and I was wondering if you would be willing to post a hypertext link to my site,http://www.biracialstudy.com, on your webpage. (Please check it out!) I would really appreciate your help once again in contributing to this important study about biracial people. Also, if you have any questions or comments about the study, please do not hesitate to e-mail me. Again, I really appreciate your support of this project about us--people of color.
Name: birgit hudson, ABHudson@prodigy.net
Subject: interracial children
Date: 2/23/99
I would like to say that Iam a german woman who is married to a black american man. We have 3 children together and a I had a son from a previous relationship (who was also black american). My oldest son is very dark and is also a special needs child (which makes it much harder because whenever I have to take him to the doctor Iam asked all kinds of questions). My daughter had blond hair when she was born and looks white. My son who was born after her also looks white. And a year ago we had another son who looks black. Even though they all look alike ,people comment on his color when they see me with my white looking son (comments like I see youve got you a black one this time). We also live in a all black neighborhood which makes it very hard for all of us. Unfortunetly circumstances didnt allow us to move out of here. I never could understand why do people make such an big issue regarding race and color. In germany alot of my friends wanted to have children that look more black,because they think it is just plain beautifull. Another problem I find here is that people are segregated from black and white or spanish which I find causes a big problem.
Name: Rebecca Steele, email address not given
Subject: Sociology Research Paper
Date: 2/22/99
I am doing a Sociology Research Paper regarding academic success rate of non-traditional female students. This paper has to have a literature review and I will be using ASA format.
Any comments, suggestions etc. would be greatly appreciated.
(Moderator's Note: If individuals wanted to assist you with your paper, they would need your email address because their comments would probably not be appropriate to post at this site. So please send an email address to me so that I can post it with your request for help. Select the underlined "me" to send a message.)
Name: Ryan, Rybi100@Hotmail.com
Subject: Puzzled
Date: 2/21/99
Well to first start out I'm kinda of surprised at how this group is basically one big contradiction. There seems to be this need for belonging , but yet its primarily for light skin mixed people, which puzzles me. I dont have a story only that I'm an 18 year old black male , whose father is African American and whose mother is Swedish/Irish. I just think that you should idntfy yourself with what your comfortable with.
Name: Amy C. Pelletier, Rastathang@aol.com
Subject: Why do I feel different???
Date: 2/21/99
My name is Amy, and I'm 28 years old. My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, brothers and sister are white. Why do I feel like I have different roots?
I have talked with several people and shared my beliefs. Many people have told me that I'm crazy and I don't know what I'm talking about.
Everything about me is so different from the rest of my family. I appear on the outside to be white, but my insides feel so different. I have never talked with my parents about this, and I don't know if I can.
I would love some feedback from anyone who has ever felt as I feel.
In unity...
Name: Kurt, flashman_1@yahoo.com
Subject: Racial Identity of my children
Date: 2/11/99
I ask your patience with me as I don't actually belong to this support group although I expect(?) to in the future. First, some background.
My wife and I are both caucasian, but we are adopting biracialy. My wife is multi-cultural, half French half American and born in France. My background is German with a spicing of Jewish but American for many generations.
After reading your messages to each other, it would seem sensible to come to your site to ask the difficult questions. If I'm imposing in any way, please e-mail me and let me know. I want to understand your issues so I can ease/prevent some of them as we raise our children (we hope to adopt 4).
First question: I grew up in a rural area where we had 1 black family and 1 biracial family in my community. So when many of you say that you didn't have the opportunity to know or explore the black side, I wonder how I can provide that now? My wife and I live in the mid-west and since our decision to adopt, have notice a multitude of biracial couples/children and other adopted biracial children in our area. Other than that, the area is... I would guess... 75% white. I plan to teach them all I can find on black heritage.
Second question: I don't agree with the terms "to act black" or "to act white". As I won't know exactly from where in Africa is the parent's lineage, how would I know what dialect to teach them? The children will already need to speak both French and English, I would think that is a good start. Saying that there is a African American dialect is like saying there is a Southern or Texan dialect. Proper English with proper diction is not "acting white", it is using the intelligence God has given us to express ourselves in a manner that all English speaking people will understand. The two familys I grew up with didn't seem any different than mine. Am I over simplifing things?
Just as a side note, I have a gentleman with whom I work who was born in Africa, is 100% white, and is a naturalize citizen of the U.S. That makes him an African American. So even that title is, in my opinion, over used.
I hope I haven't offended anyone as I really, really want to understand. Anyone with constuctive critism or comment is encouraged to email me.
Thanks.
Name: Janice, Jaia47@excite.com
Subject: true love
Date: 2/11/99
i am ethnically mixed by blood, but "black" in appearance, GENERALLY. i have "good hair" although most people think it is too thick and too curly, as i used to. the first person, besides my beautiful aunt Grace Ann who used to braid my hair(she is so heavy handed!), the first person to love my dark reddish brown skin, my muscular thighs and full(not "thick" enough for most black men though) curvy figure and slim waist AND soft, curly hair, is my white fiance of nearly five years. he supports me more than anyone ever has and we have had problems, like any relationship, but the only racial problems we've had have come from outside. we've had many discussions about color, race, gender, and every other important issue of our day. we plan to marry next spring and soon after have children. we also plan to live in a fairly rural area and try to teach our children about the way we have loved despite the world around us. for us this has little to do with race and everything to do with basic respect and independence. for the earth and everyone and everything that inhabits it. i am 26 years old and so is Benjamin and we are not naive enough to believe that our family will never have another problem with some idiot for whatever reason(we've both gotten alot of flak for being short, so we know how stupid people of all colors and creeds can be), but our goal is to do our best to make sure our children are never fenced in to anyone's boundaries and to give them the personal strength to handle all the adversity this world can throw at them and to know they can always come home to their white father and black mother and have us, together, through anything. we will cry, then fight, then win or lose, but always together, just as Benjamin and I have done ever since we met.
Name: malene olsen, miss-mso@get2net.dk
Subject: Amerasian
Date: 2/10/99
Hi, my name is Malene.
I'm Amerasian my mother is Thai my father is afro-american, I'm not sure if I label my father correct cause I live in a country where there is very little diffrent nationalities and no communities for every race. I live in Denmark in Scandinavia. I'm not part white but I constantly have to live with people asking about my heritage again and again. Now I'm trying to make my own organisation here in DK, cause I have been told at the American Embassy that I was the first Amerasian person to approach them about Amerasian issues, I'm right now waiting to hear from a tv station where I might be in a program and have also contacted a journalist who have made a program about Amerasians and he was really surprised to hear about an Amerasian in Denmark, I believe I'm almost alone here in my country. Right now i'm trying to find my identy - I'm born in Thailand in 72 and is one of those children born under the Vietnam war. I would appreciate any comments and to hear from other Amerasians especially children of war.
Name: Renea, danrenea@Imap2.asu.edu
Subject: research on biracial individuals
Date: 2/10/99
As I researcher and a mother of a two-year old biracial daughter, I found the book "Racially Mixed People in America" (Edited by Maria P. Root) to be a wonderful collection of information that has helped me understand some of the issues that my daughter is likely to face. The majority of research on multiracial people are conducted by multiracial individuals, minorities and people involved in interracial families. I think research in this area adds credibility to the plight of organizations like AMEA and I-PRIDE. I hope we all continue to contribute and encourage biracial research.
Name: G.Alvin, Auzenne@uthscsa.edu
Subject: The Creole Experience
Date: 2/10/99
My experience is somewhat different, but I should relate my experiences. My heritage is French-Creole. I have the "usual" light skin, green eyes, and curly hair. Growing up it was odd that people would always say "but you are not really black." Although, we lived in a predominately white neighborhood..I always had an identity. I was creole...and although some people would ask what I was..the only response I knew to give was creole. Fortunately, down south in Louisiana and Texas this information is enough, people know what it means. Now that I am graduating from medical school May 1999, I do not think that it matters. I live now in an area that is predominately Hispanic. Now people think I am Hispanic. Unfortunately now, I get to hear what people think about "black folk" because they think I am something else. Whatever, I am here to save lives and to treat my patients. If they choose to ask the get the knee jerk creole response. Funny thing is, people know what that means here too. I suppose since so many generations of my family are bi-racial (both of my parents are creole) I never had an identity crisis. I suspect that as present day bi-racial families reach the "time-line" that many creole families have, I believe they too will be comfortable about their identities. The work place often reflects your inner self. I never tried to hide who I am, everyone knows..white, black, and hispanic whoever..they all know..I make it a point for them to know..To date my white, black, hispanic, and asian patients appreciate it when they feel better. Bottom line. My outward appearance is the same as many bi-racial people..my inward appearance is what really sets me apart.
Name: Not given, email address not given
Subject: Racial identity of my child
Date: 2/6/99
I am new mother of a baby girl, who at this point in her life has a white appearance. I feel that her father and I can love, support,and guide her through anything, but we have no experience with what being biracial means for a child. I am black and engaged to her white father. Before she was born we discussed this issue, and we are still not sure of how to approach it. Our daughter already attracts a lot of attention of people who seem to be mostly curious. My immediate family seems to take the subject avoidance approach. I feel that would prove disasterous for our daughter, if she were to feel she should'nt talk about her identity. I would probably identify her as black because most blacks are multiracial, and so is she. Thats not the say that I would not tell her of her heritage, and I wouldn't have to because her father is a part of her life. Still, that identification would be discouraging her from identifying with her father. We would ,most likely, either identify her as biracial, or let her decide how to identify herself. After all, there are over two million children in America that are just like her, and maybe she might identify with them. If her father was biracial(black/white),I would identify her as black because she would be multiracial like me instead of biracial like the father; yet,People should not be identified by percentages. I ,honestly, feel races don't exit, but we live in a world that will try to force our children to choose. If it was not important to people it wouldn't be an issue at all. I feel being a parent of a biracial child requires me to teach her the things she needs to know to survive in this world. I know that may mean life may be somewhat easier for her if she identifies herself as black, but appearing white living in a ,predominately, black neighborhood will be difficult in deed! All I can do is be honest with her about the way this society is, encourage her to be herself no matter what other people may say about it,and be there for her.
Name: Tiffany, tiffanyn@umich.edu
Subject: MIXED GATHERING at the UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN, Ann
Abor
Date: 2/5/99
The University of Michigan's MIXED INITIATIVE is sponsoring it's first MIxed Gathering. Mixed Gathering will be a day of activities and dialogue between middle school, high school, and college students. The Mixed Initiative will provide younger students will the opportunity to express their ideas and feelings about being 'mixed' in an environment that consists of other students who can relate to many of their experiences. The event will be Feb, 13, 1999 at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor. For more info. contact tiffanyn@umich.edu.
LOOK FOR MIXED INITIATIVE'S UPCOMING CONFERNCE: 'COLORING OUTSIDE THE LINES' MARCH 20, 1999
Name: Patrice, patricelfarmer@hotmail.com
Subject: Mixed in a mostly white environment
Date: 2/5/99
I go to a catholic college and work with nuns. They ask what I'm eating, it's usually Puerto Rican food, they look at me like all of you people must be black because your not white. They've seen my daughter who's 3/4 white and when I mention that I buy her Irish items they stare even harder. Then sometimes it comes out about my Tsalagi heritage, when I've just gone to the Indian center or Indian health, and they stare as if they couldn't possibly imagine that my heritages are just as important as their European American heritages. My coworker is biracial, but dates black men, she too doesn't seem to get it, I guess because for her she isn't mixed she's black. Me, I cook, act and am my heritages and my daughters Irish side, because I'm the one teaching her that side. It annoys me but I know that there older women who only see things in black and white.
Name: Patrice, patricelfarmer@hotmail.com
Subject: Can't find anyone who isn't racist against me or my
daughter
Date: 2/5/99
I am multiracial with a multi/biracial daughter with white skin, blond hair and blue eyes. I am light brown, curly brown/black hair and hazel eyes. I have also been attracted to white or Hispanic men, all of which I'm mixed with. I never get any of those types to look my way. Black men usually are attracted to me, although I am not attracted to them. I usually have black men make extremely cruel comments when they see my daughter. For example, yesterday while shopping, two black men walked in, took one look at my daughter and me and started singing, "That's my baby's daddy." I tried to ignore them, but it's typical. White or Hispanic men that I am attracted to usually are wondering what I'm doing with that white child, and whose is it. It gets very frustrating. I remember on the sunday before the SUper Bowl, going to the grocery store and having about five white males staring cruely at me as if I had no right to chastise that white child they thought didn't belong to me. I look their way, they look away. And the black men are usually prejudice of my daughter or making comments about 'hunkies' or such when she's there or not. Because they just assume that we are the same.
Name: Juanita Brooks, jbrooks@myshoes.com
Subject: Extinct Member Email Address
Date: 2/5/99
I would appreciate it if members Coretta Ball and Jessica Lake contact me with current email addresses. As always, I will keep these addresses in my confidential files if you do not want them posted. However, I need them in order to contact you occaisionally with important information regarding our support group.
Name: Juanita Brooks, jbrooks@myshoes.com
Subject: Non-member Participation In My Shoes
Date: 1/27/99
It has come to my attention that the My Shoes discussion group is for members of the My Shoes Support Group only and that non-members' submissions have been posted there. Beginning February 15 non-members will no longer be able to participate in these discussions and present submissions by non-members will be deleted. I have notified all non-members who have made comments about the various discussion topics, however, there were individuals who I was unable to reach because they did not give an email address. I have made a list of them below.
I am extending an invitation to all of these individuals to join our support group and continue their participation in the discussion topics. There is no cost to join us. However, you would need to submit a brief or extensive personal story. If you presently have a story about yourself at another web site, you can make a link to that page. See the "Personal Stories" section for directions or contact me, the group moderator, by selecting my email address above. Those who do not choose to join the My Shoes Support Group can continue to make submissions in the "Letters To The Group" and "Bulletin Board" sections at the site. I welcome your participation as a member or non-member.
I was unable to personally contact the following individuals: Anonymous 6/29/98, Anonymous 11/17/98, Anonymous 1/5/99, Desiree, Drea B., Edmund Janas, Largo, Lynn, Mystical from Louisville, and Redbone.
Name: Brian Alnutt, Bealnutt@AOL.com
Subject: We Can Be Bridges
Date: 1/25/99
I'm a 41 year old tri-racial (white/black/Native American) individual, a grad student in US History, and this topic and forum are of great interest to me. In fact, one of my special areas of study is US race relations. A little about my experience: I've embraced a multiracial heritage my entire life, but, having grown up in a 90% white area of rural South Jersey, and attending a 80% white school, I've really lived, I suppose, within the "white" subculture. Appearance? I guess I have mixed white/native American features, tan skin, blue eyes, rather coarse "nappy" hair. I'm struck by the anguish and sad times many of your correspondents have gone through: all I can say is that perhaps my experience can be a beacon of hope, because I've had a pretty easy time of it racially. Few people have offered me any negative feedback, and I'd say most whites, when the topic of black ancestry has arisen, have accepted me as "part-black", the way one might accept someone as part-Irish or whatever. I've sometimes gotten more serious negative feedback from blacks, including the occasional threat, but even this has been rare. So perhaps I can serve as a beacon of hope that being multiracial does not have to be stressful! Two more points to make: I think that being of part Native-American heritage, including an active tribal affiliation, has helped, frankly. I do think that when many whites have learned that I have this background and do consider myself an Indian, they assign me that pigeonhole (since most Indians in the eastern US are mixed) and leave it at that. And about my background: I come from two long triracial lines. My mother is Indian-complected but quite dark, and her family lived in integrated Philadelphia neighborhoods during the 1930's-40s, socializing mostly with blacks. However, she experienced some racist treatment from the blacks, and grew to dislike what she felt was a sense of disorder and inertia that permeated the black community. Furthermore, her father was a conservative high-ranking police officer. She came to have pretty negative feelings about the black subculture. My father is from a large South Jersey triracial Indian tribe composed of remnant Indians who married whites and blacks. But they divorced when I was 2, and my mother remarried a liberal white Southerner, her current husband. We relocated to mostly-white South Jersey. My wife is a white blonde of Eastern European background(interestingly, all of my siblings also took blonde spouses), we have 4 blond children who are well aware of their mixed, including black, background. Well, what else can a say? Quite a lot actually, but this is already running too long. I welcome all e-mails; and will close by just saying that a multiracial background need not cause turmoil or stress! In fact, we can serve as useful bridges between the white, black, Indian, or "other" sides of our wider American family.
Name: Not given, email address not given
Subject: Claiming your heritage
Date: 1/15/99
At one point in my former miserable life , I hated being black and did not feel like a " sista ". I believe that claiming your heritage is matter of how one perceive themselves, their environment and their suurondings, which was something that I have not always received. I also believe that family plays a vital role in the development in cultural well-being as well. In my past , I was discriminated against by my grandmother because I was not as light as my lighter skinned cousins, who is the color like Vanessa Williams. I f I showed a picture of my cousin to my Black counterparts , the first qquestion they would ask me is " Why did you not look like her ? '. I even recalled may times where my grandmother would always put , let's call her " Carol " on a pedestal. no matter how right or wrong she was, she could do no evil. The disccrimination had gotten so bad until I began to hate my own Black people and at one point , self conscious ( I wanted to kill myself ). and said that I would never marry a Black man or, at least Black man from the U.S. ( I said I liked African men , appreciated their blackness more than some African American men do ). What broke me away from my anti-Black spell was ironically, my former African born boyfriend, for the reason mentioned in the closed brackets. I'm noy going to say that all african men are like this but mine was. Most of anti-Black spell is almost dissapated but this page of culturally diverse of predominately taught me more about identity. I do not care if a person single raced or mixed race true sister hood or brother hood has nothing to do wih racial classifications, what you wear , what neighborhood or people you hang around with or how you talk---it starts with you !
Name: Patrice Farmer, patricelfarmer@hotmail.com
Subject: Ebenezer Lewis
Date: 1/11/99
I hear you! I am Puerto Rican in culture and feelings, all though I am multiracial. I have four different heritages, but I identify more with the Rican part than any other. Even the white, which is what my daughter is, being half white, and a little bit more from me. I cook P.R. food, and my Irish daughter eats it up, but I don't speak Spanish and that prevents me from identifying completely with my Puerto Rican brothers and sisters. How you look and feel may be two different things. I look like who ever is looking at me at the time. What they see in me. My high cheekbones, yep she's half Indian. Look, she looks like a half Tsalagi (Cherokee), look at her, that curly hair, got to be half Puerto Rican, look at that nose, must be half black... hey look at her skin color, her eyes, her hair texture, got to be white in there... But, how does she feel?
(Moderator's Note: To locate Ebenezer Lewis' comments, select this name under "Subject" above and then scroll down to 12/30/98. Ebenezer has two submissions on that date.)
Name: Robert, rjtheomf@webtv.net
Subject: Brandi Faux's story
Date: 1/10/99
Brandi Faux claims that she's "light skin" and can "pass for white". In effect she is promoting that nonsense that racial mixture can improve the "black" but "ruin" the "white" and myth of the "light skin black".
Is Faux aware that many latinos are partially black and they dont or not force to call themeselves "black"? It's no big deal for a light mulatto in the Dominican Republic and in other latino countries to identify himself or herself as "white". It is no more controversial than saying someone has blue or hazel eyes.
Too many people who claim too reject the notion of white "racial purity" are still wedded the idea racial whiteness and mixed ancestry are mutually exclusive. The idea behind the "passing for white" accusation is based on the premise that european ancestry is "pure" and too good to be mixed with non-european ancestry. It's about time all ancestries were treated as equal and brought down to size.
It's is not contradiction to be "white" and "mixed race". Therefore "WHITE" is not a synonym for "racial purity".
Name: John, johnnyangel69@hotmail.com
Subject: AD's Comments
re "Who Is White"
Date: 1/2/99
I am struck by AD Powell's continuing generalizations about Latin Americans (as a group) having "plenty of black blood".
As anyone who has traveled throughout Latin America can attest, Latin Americans come in all colors and ancestries - from very white/blonde to black African to east Asian to "native American". And many are a combination of racial backgrounds - a true rainbow.
While Many Latins have lots of African ancestry - many others have none at all. It really depends on what country or region in Latin America you are in.
I am in general but not total agreement with AD's point about "self-policing" the one-drop myth. Again, it depends on where one is and how really "white" they look.
(Moderator's Note: To locate "AD's Comments", select it under "Subject" above and then scroll down to 12/22/98.)