Adult Letters

July through September, 2001

My Shoes is a forum where we can meet other multiracial individuals with a white appearance and express our thoughts and feelings.

This page allows members and non-members to ask questions or comment on anything they wish related to the mission of the support group. Help the support group grow by talking to group members, by contributing to discussion topics, by sending your personal story, and by posting announcements on the bulletin board. Join us!

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Letters:

Name: Naomi, naomer@hotmail.com
Subject: Comments regarding this site
Date: 08/29/01

I can understand why this group exists and I am very happy to have found it so members can discuss the issues involved. I am not able to become a memeber, but I am mixed - black and Japanese, and can understand many of the dilemmas involved. I grew up feeling torn between two races when it shouldn't have been that way! I am 22 years old and do not and never, ever have chosen things because of a particular race that is associated with them, but because of what I wanted. Even my own family has accused me of wanting "to be" white because of the music that I listen to, the way that I dress and the way I wear my hair.

I wish to God that some day these racial stereotypes can be broken and people can live to be "people with interests and feelings" rather than "people of certain races". What does it matter that I am mixed? What does me listening to a certain type of music have to do with race? Or the way I speak? Or what I wear? I am black and Japanese and I'm glad. I like it. I love and accept my parents of course, and I accept the way that I look. What more do you expect me to do? I'm just me, and that's is all I can be.

It seems so silly that sites like this HAVE to exist - people should not have to feel the way they do about their race, but at least this site is available so people can share those feelings with someone who truly understands.

I welcome any questions or comments.

"Being here has confirmed my worst fears about race." "There is a feeling that you fit in everywhere but are not fully accepted anywhere." "What was my mother doing with a white man?" These are just some of the thoughts my bi-racial American students have shared with me; the first being of African American - Zulu parentage, the second White - African American and the latter of White - Native American.

These are all university students who come to South Africa on a scholarship programme. I am an African Languages/culture teacher and am also bi-racial. Having shared thoughts with them confirmed to me that the bi-racial experience is truly universal.

Not long ago I stumbled upon this site and it really completed my lifelong jigsaw puzzle.All of the stories I read, sound so familiar. They all could have been written by me, without much of a stretch of imagination.

I think the bi-racial experience needs to be told. All of mankind will surely learn from it. Lessons such as tolerance, acceptance, the futility of bigotry and most important of all - self acceptance in the face of adversity, are some of the important lessons everyone can learn from us. We have gone through the pain. Extreme pain. And the pleasure is never far from that pain!

My life mission is to put together on documentary film, on all of our experiences in an interesting, educational and entertaining way. In a way that will be accessible to all.

If you have any ideas please contact me.

hello my friends how are you? i could not bear that you suffer from being black and white mixed. why do you suffer? as for me, i wish i am black and white mixed!!! i want to be mixed!! "kakkoii"(cool in japanese)

as for my experience, white and asian leave me and ignore me. they don`t find any interests in me .or the worse, they but the light-skinned black and white mixed lady say about me "honey""sweet""love ya" now i find hope to live by them.. and i cannot live without the black and white mixed people. sorry for my poor and bookish english. please be proud of being hapa. if you meet me, please kiss me and embrace me without hesitation. norihisa

I would just like to say that I have found this site to be wonderful. My daughter is bi-racial, I am white and her father is black. My daughter, Desirae has been raised by myself and my fiancée' (who is white also)(we live in WI). She sees her father a couple times a year(who lives in CA) . And she is very much aware of her heritage and when she is asked what color she is she says "Tan". She has the best of both worlds and we have tried to encourage all of her relations. Besides her Paternal grandparents are wonderful people. I look forward to learning more and reading the bios. I what to raise my daughter to believe in herself and be proud of who she is. I know that she is the best and very beautiful inside and out. My daughter is 6, She is Tan, the biggest brown eyes and the softest brown ringlets, and the biggest smile that makes your heart melt. And she knows it!

As a young woman (18) raised by a caucasian mother and an african-american father, I have experienced racism in its purest form and have encountered MANY ignorant people. After my parents divorced,my mom and I moved to this tiny little village where EVERYONE knew EVERYONE. I went to an all-white school which had a total of 98 students!! THERE, I WAS BLACK. not multi-racial...BLACK. Those kids had only two conception: black and white..and since I wasnt white...I had no business of being there. I was taunted with insults such as NIGGER,SLAVE,GHETTO-TRASH,GO BACK TO AFRICA,guess the rest. I would then look at myself in the mirror and I would not see black. Black is Janet Jackson.God knows I tried explaining that to them. Anyway, after 4 horrible years we moved to much bigger and better place!! I went to a school in the city and was confronted with a WHOLE NEW set of people!!!!!!!!! All of a sudden, just like that,I WAS NO LONGER BLACK!!! I was EVERYTHING else!!! I was Hindu, I was Native, I was white-with-an-AMAZING-tan, but most the time I was latina. It NEVER occured to ANYONE that my father was african-american. I remember wearing this AWESOME fubu dress the first day of school, and an african-american student came up to me and gave me the "Yo girrrrl, dat's a phat dress but yo you aint one of us" crap. Needless to say he was quite embarassed after I gave him an answer he wasnt expecting. I had people comin up to me and just blabbing away in Spanish. Damn I know this is getting long...anyway, I have always been a huge fan of Mariah Carey and when I saw her on the oprah show she blew me away. I was just so proud of her, bu tmost importantly, proud of myself. I learned to respectfully correct people when they make incorrect assumptions about me, and too be proud of who and what I am. I have the ability to love and appreciate all races, and thats a beautiful thing..I mean, I am black, I am white, THERE'S NOTHING MORE BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!! AND IM NOT CONCEITED ABOUT IT EITHER!!!! If you havent all heard Mariah Carey's Theme song, I urge you to do it. You can download it off kaza.com. just type in "Mariah's Theme" PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am Korean, and my boyfriend is white. We have talked about children in the future. I was wondering what our bi-racial child would look like. I have never seen a child who is half Asian and half White. I was curious to see which parent would dominate, and what the baby will look like. I haven't shared these thoughts with him, because I don't want to seem ignorant to him. Any advice would be most helpful. Thank you.

I just want to say that I feel very good about what am hearing all of you say. I think that this is the kind of stuff that will lead (some of) us out of the whole "trap" of race. I just remeber Popeye, who was, I believe a BLONDE Ashkenazi Jew (supposed not to have those!), who said with all the appropriate moxie, "I YAM WHAD I YAM!!!" I am "supposedly" German, Irish, and Cherokee; but have recently dicovered my Melungeon roots and verified my Cherokee ancestors' validity (I am recognized by a tribal group). But I am still more than that. I like Oktoberfest and St. PAtty's day, and Pow-Wows, but I am also MORE than just a combination. I am fascinated with the Sahars and Central Asia/Turkey, even as a kid naming a pet chameleon "Turk"! I have always been and felt a bit "Weird", and was always asked why I got mahogany in the summer, but pinkish-red in the winter. All I could say was "that's just me!" My siblings and I don't even look like we belong in the same family, but we're all blood! I am what I am!

My name is Tiffany, and my boyfriend and I are a bi-racial couple. I live in South Carolina where I recently found out that bi-racial marriages are illeagal. Does anyone know where I can find a list of all states where bi-racial marriages are legal?

April through June, 2001

October through December, 2001

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