Adult Letters

October through December, 2001

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Letters:

Name: shon mccray, shon_mccray@gov.state.il.us
Subject: Answers for my child.
Date: 11/26/01

I have a four in a half year old bi-racial boy who said to me the day after thanksgiving that he was white. I asked him to repeat what you said, he answered by saying he meant to say that he was black. I then said to him what do you think you are, and he again stated white. The next question I asked him was why does he believe that he is white, he responded by saying because he came from his mommies tummy and his mommy is white,so that makes me white. The next question I asked was where does daddy fit in. He had no answer. At this point I asked him to come over sit on dads leg and listen to me for a few min. I told him that it doesn't matter to me if he wonts to be white or black, I will love him either way, I just wanted him to understand who he was and be happy just being himself. My fear is that he is responding this way because he is attempting to please his mom and me. His mother and I are divorce, and he lives with her in central Il., while I reside in Chicago. I wont to know what I can do to help my son as he grows up find his place in this world.

After my computer crashed last week, I came back to find this messege left for me. ***

To: chall@english.fsu.edu

GOOD HAIR????? LOL Check your self honey no such thing.

*** See, it took me a while to figure out what on earth this person was talking about, and then I remembered I'd said something about "good hair" at this site. But he/she felt the need to e-mail me from this site to tell me I need to "check myself". The post I made, which was/is now on the home page of this website, was written a while ago. Since then, I have realized the term "good hair" is not really a ... shall I say.. nice term.. because it leaves stereotype. Let me also explain that when I was a child.. I didn't know the difference between white or black, but when I moved to the south the term, "good hair" became a part of my description my friends used with other people. Ironically enough, this is a Black term. Anyway, my point of this is... I don't appreciate getting antagonizing e-mails from people who I don't know because they are offended that I used the term "good hair". I have enjoyed the e-mails that I have gotten from people who read my inputs. I would hate to have my e-mail taken down because this one person, but.. I really don't feel like reading the negativity.

I tell people that I am Italian and I am in a way. I look Latin and know that I am mixed Eurasian as my family are Romaoi Asiatic Greek that moved to Italy. My mom is white but I have slanted eyes and looked Japanese as a child. As my nose grew I looked just white. Latins are the only race that includes all skin colours and races and it is my home. My friend is East Asian Portugese and he also identifies himself as a Latin, as I do. We both look Latin and we are! I was lucky and raised in an Italian-American area so I looked normal for that place. Asiatic Greeks are Romaoi (Romans) so we are real Italians and since our family lived in Italy the Italian-Americans are our blood brothers. I don't usually bring this up as one get odd looks.

Knowing who you are is important but if you identify with a group that accepts you it makes life easier. I get Greece, Rome but never mention Asia or even think about it. In our culture decent is through the father, his father and so on. We are not the only Italian family that do Kenpo Boxing and I will pass that down to my son when I have one. Marco Polo found a large Italian and Greek community in China when he arrived and later Spanish and Portugese headed East to Asia.

I understand being differnt as I lived in Europe and was beaten by a gang of young men for being Spanish but I was just an American boy. They called me a spic and a dago as they beat me. I fought back and that angered them and they beat me longer and harder. I have always felt compassion for the underdog. Laying there face down in the dirt and mud as they kicked and beat me made me a better person, a person with kindness; that they failed to show to an innocent youth. I suspect being a Latin is a lot easier than being a Eurasian. I don't even think about being Eurasian often.

You are who you want to be. Be who you want and be happy. In the last census I told the truth but I will just identify myself as Italian decent in any future census. I hope you all find peace inside you souls.

I am often mistaken for being mulatto, because i am light skinned and have green and brown eyes. What about the rest of you?

July through September, 2001

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